A personal trail of synchronicity

Goodbye Bxrtley…?

Ever since I made that coalescence declaration, there was a struggle to write consistently. I created cognitive dissonance for myself. How could I proclaim 2016 as the Year of Coalescence, yet still write personal thoughts not related to shame recovery and the antihero initiative? I couldn’t. And I shouldn’t.

I read that when Steve Jobs came back to work for Apple, he nixed 70% of the product line to focus on just two: desktops and portables for the professional and the consumer. That’s it. Apple Co. lost about $1 billion during his first fiscal year, but then gained a little over $300 million profit the next. And Apple’s uphill journey to success began (again).

After much thought, I’m simplifying my writing platforms to just two product lines:

  1. PublicAntihero.NYC for everything related to my central theme of shame reversal through the lens of the antihero. Blog posts, audio clips, videos of the creative process, publications of finished and unfinished work, drawings of paradigms and concepts, letters to antiheroes—all of it goes to the antihero website.
  2. Private – My personal thoughts, connections, synchronicity, movie reflections that tie into the real world, prayers, rants, sparks of genius and explosions of stupidity—all of it goes into my private journal. If any of these entries relate to the ideas of the antihero, shame, humiliation, restoration, hope, self-perception or personal branding (for the sake of reframing one’s past), then I’ll transfer it to the antihero site.

So, what of this site? I was thinking it would make for a great public scrapbook or Moleskine of thoughts, sketches and half-baked ideas that may or may not end up coming to fruition. I’m definitely not closing the blog (I’m thinking about purchasing a ‘bxrtley’ domain), but why have two public spaces when I can privately document everything I’m doing and then publicly share all of the relevant pieces that coalesce into a singular theme?

Here’s what I’ve realized about myself. I will always find crazy, random or obvious moments that connect and I will always have the desire to critically think through those experiences. I’m hyper-aware when it comes to seemingly random moments that may connect on a deeper level. However, many of those moments end up being transient, “Oh that’s cool” experiences with little value to you as the reader. They may inspire you to search for those moments in your personal life (because they do exist!), but, if anything, those moments help me to keep my mind sharp, as I continuously map and connect experiences together.

It’s time to be more intentional. Time to sift through the “what are the odds” moments and give you the “what is this for” modus operandi. In the meantime, I’m not sure what this means for this little WordPress blog. I’m truly grateful for those of you who actually visit and read. I don’t take that for granted. If I have to go into a readership debt before grossing a profit in user-attention once again, it’s worth the risk. Steve Jobs thought it was. And I must try it at least once. I appreciate you giving me the chance to do so.




Reversing Shame – My Research

  As promised, I have the ebook version of my preliminary research on shame and self-perception ready for you. At the moment, I don’t have a computer, so these Dropbox links are the next best way to make the PDF and ePub available.

Here you go.

Reversing Shame – PDF DOWNLOAD
Reversing Shame – EPUB DOWNLOAD

2016: Year Of Coalescence

  [The “Success” posts have been indefinitely interrupted]

I must stop fighting what’s about to happen. This is my Year of Coalescence. It’s been six months since I’ve graduated, started a job related to my research and I haven’t contributed anything new to my antihero initiative. Not a single word. And there’s now this tugging for my passion in branding, storytelling, learning and cognition, marketing and sales, user-centered and graphic design, and synchronicity to coalesce into this one idea:

The impact of shame and how to reframe it.

So, I’m throwing the white flag and surrendering to the call. I’ll start by redesigning my research paper as a free ebook and sharing it with you. This weekend.

Passage in photo by Austin Kleon, Show Your Work

Success, At What Cost: Part 4

Whenever I go through some serious hardships related to the relentless grind, I watch The Pursuit of Happyness. I reflect on the protagonist, Christopher Gardner played by Will Smith, and I envision shouldering the resilience, faith, pain, tears and victories of his narrative. Yet, he ended up brokering a multi-million dollar deal at the cost of a broken family. Kearns earned a few millie and wifey left. Gardner garnished a few millie and wifey left too. There’s got to be some similarities in the protagonists, right? Well, let’s find out together.

Success, At What Cost: Part 3.5

What happens when the relentless grind does warrant isolation or extended period of times away from one’s spouse and family? Whether it’s a 3-month business trip or enlisting in the Armed Forces, a conversation or even compromise of time spent away would need to happen. There may less leverage with one (joining a service branch) than the other, but I think in the movie Kearns missed that whether fighting for justice or for King and Country, one must place priority over their own homeland first. What good is corporate checks and balances or a safe country if every family in it is broken?

Success, At What Cost: Part 3.4

When you become a spouse and parent, your priorities change significantly (says the bachelor who is trying to sum up complex issues in 100 words). Your vision of success takes on a version of selflessness. It’s what Kearns couldn’t even when his wife in one scene subtly hinted that he already was a success because of his family. But you can’t patent that. You can’t call it your own. That’s what Kearns desired. When your relentless grind starts to negatively impact those in your corner who would die with you for your cause, it’s time to reevaluate your motives.

Success, At What Cost: Part 3.3

Would Kearns communicating that his work-life balance would be uneven have made a difference? Most definitely. It would have opened the floor to proactive dialogue, versus reactionary complaints of him not taking responsibility as husband and father. Paradoxically, he involved his entirely family in the invention process, from brainstorm to prototype to patent. Those scenes were warm with love. However, his passion for engineering that brought his family together also drove them away. Perhaps they weren’t initially drawn at all. Maybe it was more of a patriarchal rally that eventually lost its luster, revealing the true character of obsession.

I decided to split up the previous footnote (255 words) into two posts and revamp them for those who took the time to read it. I also didn’t want to simply copy and paste from yesterday’s creation. This is the first post. The second will be published tomorrow.